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THROUGH JUNE 2
“Is Schuster returns to her digital roots in her current exhibit, Manifestations, on display at One Art Space in Tribeca from May 11th through June 2nd. Each colorful canvas features vibrant, complex and glowing elaborations of ancient symbols, calling forth living energies and invoking powerful manifestations of humanity’s deepest hopes and dreams. A member of MIT’s pioneering Architecture Machine Group in the 1970’s, Is Schuster was the first artist to exhibit digital art in New York City.”

THROUGH JUNE 13
Eckart Hahn’s “Ancient Light” at Pablo’s Birthday.

MAY 16–JUNE 3
FB Gallery is proud to present Prince Michael’s Neverland: The Measure of an Artist. Michael Anthony Pegues, a fixture of the downtown art scene and true NY icon has finally found a home at FB gallery to present his vision. His constant quest for recognition, almost an obsession, has led him to constantly produce artworks where his image takes center stage.

MAY 17–JUNE 23
“Kansas is pleased to present Incidental Western, a solo exhibition of new work by Michael Berryhill. Michael Berryhill’s studio practice is an intensive exploration of temporal production and the impossibility of painting. His recent paintings, sculptures and works on paper are informed by accident and recovery; an attempt to invent his way into meaningful mystery.”

MAY 18–19
“Apexart invites visitors to exchange pictures from their lives with selections from the photo archive of Brooklyn artist Kambui Olujimi. Come with an image of any size, medium, style, and subject and leave with a photo of your choice. For those unable to bring pictures to the event, there will be limited facilities for on-site printing. A Life in Pictures blurs the lines of biographical authorship in a world moving towards dematerializing means of communication, allowing guests to interject moments from their own lives into this larger life in pictures. Saturday 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.: Parents, give your kids their first exhibition opportunity! Bring your kids and family photos to contribute to the photo archive.”

JUNE 2
Chely Wright at City Winery.

JUNE 15–17
Mark Nizer’s Expect the Impossible at Canal Park Playhouse: “Outrageous comedy antics and wild juggling adventures are in store for Canal Park Playhouse! Using lasers, robots, and extreme 3D juggling, Mark Nizer transforms impossible feats into an awe-inspiring theatrical event. Mark Nizer astounds audiences with his show-stopping tricks mixed with cutting edge technology. 3D glasses will be available.”

JULY 11–13
“Woodyfest” concerts of Woody Guthrie songs at City Winery, with performers such as Billy Bragg, Tim Robbins, and Rachael Yamagata.

AUGUST 9
The BoDeans at City Winery.

MAY 9–JUNE 9
“Iconicity” at Cheryl Hazan: James Verbicky collages strips of retro and contemporary advertising logos from magazines and newspapers with resin to form a textured plateau of text and color. His glossy paintings are reminiscent of both vintage advertising memorabilia and the work of Jacques de la Villeglé, the French artist who collages torn street posters onto canvas. In his process of ‘binding fragments of vintage media to one another’ he double-exposes language and image.” Pictured at top: “Diffuse 10.”

JUNE 4
Shawn Colvin plays her new album at City Winery.

JUNE 6–30
At Soho Photo: “June’s guest artist is Rick Odell, whose exhibition is entitled ‘My Better Half. Odell explains that each of the 23 images in his show is a double portrait that appears at first to represent a male and female couple. However, the pictures are, in fact, digitally manipulated composites of two photographs of the same subject—one of a man in drag persona masquerading as a woman and one of that same man with masculine attire and grooming. In images with more than two figures, each romantic pair is a single man cast in both gender roles.” Also: Exhibitions by Martin Frank, David Miller, Norman Borden, Susan Keiser.

By Mark Ruwedel

JUNE 6–JULY 28
At Apexart: “July 1 is the sesquicentennial of the Pacific Railway Act, the federal legislation that enabled the development of the first transcontinental railroads. ['The Permanent Way'] marks the occasion by bringing together American landscape photographs by living artists with archival material charting the expansion of railroads during the second half of the nineteenth century.”

JUNE 9, JULY 3, AUGUST 7
Howie Day plays City Winery.

FEBRUARY 17–MARCH 4
“The Ones” at New York Academy of Art: “An exhibition of work by alumni from the classes of 1991, 2001, and 2011.” Pictured above: “Reserve” (2011), by Alyssa Monks.

FEBRUARY 28
Noam Scheiber and Eliot Spitzer will discuss Obama’s economic team at 92YTribeca.

MARCH 1–APRIL 14
At Art Projects International: “Dawn, Noon and Night,” A new series of drawings by Pouran Jinchi.

MARCH 3
Steel Magnolias cry-along at 92YTribeca. “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion….”

MARCH 6
Kristi Yamaguchi and Mayim Bialik read from their new books at Barnes & Noble.

MARCH 8
“Daily Show” writers do stand-up comedy at 92YTribeca.

MARCH 15–16
Marianne Faithfull and Marc Ribot at City Winery.

MARCH 17
At 92YTribeca: John Cassavettes double feature: I’m Almost Not Crazy and Love Streams.

MARCH 21–MAY 12
At Apexart: “Consent,” which “aims to close the gap between what we think about porn and what we say—to collapse the space between the ‘them’ of the porn industry and the ‘us’ of the consumer.”

MARCH 23
Gilbert Gottfried stops by for dinner at 92YTribeca.

MARCH 23
Rhett Miller at City Winery. He and Rachael Yamagata need to do an album of duets.

DECEMBER 3
Annie gets the sing-along treatment at 92YTribeca. It’s at 10 p.m., so probably not for kids.

DECEMBER 4
At the Museum of Jewish Heritage’s free New Families, New Traditions program: Writer and mom Julie Wiener has experienced and written about many of the challenges that come from being in an interfaith marriage. With insight and humor, she’ll share some of her tips for navigating the holiday season with a minimum of stress. Also, the program will begin with gentle music and songs for parents and babies, led by singer/songwriter/mom Vered.”

DECEMBER 5
420 Funk MOB—with special guest George Clinton!—at City Winery.

DECEMBER 7
The Scarlett Empress (1934), directed by Josef von Sternberg and starring Marlene Dietrich, is screened at 92YTribeca: “Flamboyant, over-the-top, alternately funny and unsettling, The Scarlet Empress dares to depict history as grotesque erotic black comedy.” I encourage you to watch this video: This is how I will be making exits until further notice.

DECEMBER 10
From Friends of Washington Market Park: “Santa is the guest of honor at our annual Christmas party! Santa takes requests from children on his throne stationed at the gazebo. Teachers from the Church Street School for Music and Art will help children crafts ornaments for the park’s Christmas tree. This year, the Trinity Youth Chorus will perform carols while homemade cookies and hot apple cider will keep everyone feeling warm and jolly. We will be collecting new, unwrapped toys for the Toys for Tots organization.”

DECEMBER 10
At 92YTribeca: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. Is there any film they won’t screen?

DECEMBER 17
92YTribeca‘s “Meet the Lady” series celebrated Louise Lasser.

DECEMBER 17
Dan Zanes & Friends play a Christmas show at City Winery.

DECEMBER 25
At 92YTribeca‘s annual “Chinese and a Movie” on Christmas night: Raiders of the Lost Ark and Jurassic Park.

JANUARY 11–MARCH 10
At Apexart: “A Postcard from Afar: North Korea from a Distance is an attempt to envisage a state and culture that is shrouded in secrecy, being both the producer and victim of oppositional propaganda mechanisms. The project brings together new and recent works by a selection of international artists attempting to develop a picture of what the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea might be, in the absence of reliable, unbiased information of a nation that operates in exile from the international community.”

A previous Pen Parentis event

NOVEMBER 8
“You are warmly invited to meet Elissa Schappell and Greg Olear [at] The Pen Parentis Literary Salon at Gild Hall. Their beautiful upstairs Libertine Library on the second floor is transformed into a place where people like you and me go to talk books and meet with authors who have kids. Books vended by Bluestockings for signings. Readings. Conversation. Wine.”

NOVEMBER 8
“The Mysterious Bookshop and Akashic Books will celebrate the release of New Jersey Noir. Editor Joyce Carol Oates will be here along with contributors including Bradford Morrow, S.J. Rozan, Jonathan Santlofer, Edmund White, Sheila Kohler, Gerald Stern, Michael Carroll, S.A. Solomon, C.K. Williams, Hirsh Sawney, Jeffrey Ford, and Lou Manfredo. Joyce will also sign copies of her new anthology, The Corn Maiden and Other Nightmares.”

NOVEMBER 9–DECEMBER 22
At Apexart: “‘The Walls That Divide Us’ addresses the proliferation of state and city separation barriers across the globe as symbols of dissent in contemporary politics. Featured works explore phenomena including imperialistic enterprises, contested territories, security policies, border control, revolutionary movement, and mass protest.”

NOVEMBER 11
“Maslow 6 is pleased to welcome Donna Ferrato! Join us for a special event: Tribeca’s own Donna Ferrato will be signing copies of her new book: Tribeca 9/11/01-9/11/11.”

NOVEMBER 12–19
At Art in General: “I’ll Raise You One…” by Zefrey Throwell. “Each day for a week, from 10:30 a.m–6 p.m., seven players will gather around a white table in the storefront Project Space of Art In General to gamble away what most consider so dear, their clothes. At the end of each round, the players will get dressed and begin again, creating a meditative repetitious action that continues over the course of a workday.”

NOVEMBER 14
From BMCC Tribeca Performing Arts Center: “Please join us for our monthly get-together celebrating Tribeca, its businesses, the neighborhood and its friends. Everyone is welcome at the Flea Theater on Monday November 14, any time between 6:30 and 9 p.m. This is a free event—anyone with an interest in Lower Manhattan is welcome to attend. The food and drinks are free as well. Frankly Wines will provide libations while Da Mikele will bring pizza and MaxDelivery will be donating wonderful nibblybits.”

NOVEMBER 17–DECEMBER 3
“Surrounded” at One Art Space: “The poignant influence of New York City on the lives and artwork of four powerful, emerging Latin American artists: Ramiro Gamboa (Mexico), Renzo Ortega (Peru), Luciana Toyos (Argentina), and Juan Gabriel Zorrilla (Colombia).”

NOVEMBER 18
John Wesley Harding’s Cabinet of Wonders at City Winery: “The house band for that special show will be The King Charles Trio featuring Peter Buck (REM), John Wesley Harding (Appearing as Himself), Scott McCaughey (The Minus Five), Jenny Conlee-Drizos, Chris Funk, John Moen, Nate Query (members of The Decemberists).”

DECEMBER 15
Holiday caroling and the Trinity Youth Chorus’ rendition of Benjamin Britten’s “Ceremony of Carols” at St. Paul’s Chapel. It’s free.

DECEMBER 18
“Theater at Trinity presents its annual [free] reading of Israel Horovitz’s adaptation of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol: Scrooge and Marley, a multi-generational event with audience participation at St. Paul’s Chapel.”

JANUARY 7
Toad the Wet Sprocket, Ari Hest, and Willy Porter play City Winery. I love Ari Hest! Although I wish I hadn’t learned that this song was about the month of June.

FEBRUARY 15–16
Richard Thompson plays all-request shows (“Superbass”!) at City Winery.

FEBRUARY 20
Marcia Ball and BeauSoleil play City Winery.

SUNDAYS
Tribeca Grand sent over info on last week’s free screening (Boardwalk Empire‘s second season premiere) too late for the last Coming Up roundup, but you should know that the hotel does something like that every Sunday night. Sometimes it’s a TV show, sometimes it’s a movie; it’s always free (and you can buy drinks).

OCTOBER 1, 8, 15
Apexart is hosting “mini-concerts every Saturday from 3–4 p.m. during the course of the current show ‘Private Stash: A Musician’s Eye,’ curated by jazz pianist Fred Hersch. Fred hand selected some of his students to play on the baby grand now residing in our space.”

OCTOBER 4
Hairdresser to the stars Carrie White (profiled last week in the New York Times) is at Barnes & Noble Tribeca pushing her new book, Upper Cut: Highlights of My Hollywood Life. Simon & Schuster publicist Paul Olseweski has graciously agreed to give books to the first four folks who DM him on Twitter (@paulieolsewski). Love the slashes cut into the jacket.

OCTOBER 4
“The music of Thelonius Monk will be celebrated in Monk at 94, a free mini-marathon showcasing solo performances by an eclectic lineup of piano virtuosos at the World Financial Center Winter Garden. Participants include the internationally acclaimed Cuban-born classical pianist Adonis Gonzalez; pianist and composer Jed Distler, a fixture in New York’s new-music scene and host of WQXR’s keyboard show Hammered!; rising Cuban jazz star Alex Tosca, whose Latin-infused flair has won him work with such acts as The Roots and Parliament/Funkadelic; and a variety of other virtuosos.” Oh, I love Thelonius Monk. If you’ve never read the Monk passage in Geoff Dyer’s But Beautiful, do yourself a favor. Here’s a part that someone transcribed—it’s not the part I love the most, but so what: “Part of jazz is the illusion of spontaneity and Monk played the piano as though he’d never seen one before. Came at it from all angles, using his elbows, taking chops at it, rippling through the keys like they were a deck of cards, fingers jabbing at them like they were hot to the touch or tottering around them like a woman in heels—playing it all wrong as far as classical piano went. Everything came out crooked, at an angle, not as you expected. If he’d played Beethoven, sticking exactly to the score, just the way he hit the keys, the angle at which his fingers touched the ivory, would have unsteadied it, made it swing and turn around inside itself, made it a Monk tune.”

OCTOBER 7–28
“Hionas Gallery is pleased to present ‘Undefined,’ an exhibition of new large-scale pastel drawings from Tun Ping Wang. Wang’s haunting portraits reflect the artist’s fascination with the imperfect beauty of faces, and how the emotions, experiences and mental states of his subjects are imposed by the viewer rather than the artist. The gallery will be holding a public opening reception on Thursday, Oct. 6,  6–8 p.m.”

OCTOBER 15
“Come to Washington Market Park‘s kids gardening event on Saturday, Oct. 15, from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. sponsored by The Friends of Washington Market Park in celebration of the city-wide It’s My Park Day. Our park gardener will give a talk to children on how to plant tulip bulbs and seeds for the spring, then the kids will get busy planting. There will be kids’ gloves and trowels for all and lots of bulbs to plant!

OCTOBER 21
At the BMCC Tribeca Performing Arts Center: “An eight-piece, high-energy bluegrass band that combines the harmonies of three spirited female vocalists with the hard driving sound of five musically-gifted musicians on banjo, guitar, mandolin, fiddle, bass and accordion, the NYCity Slickers are sure to entice bluegrass and music lovers alike. Tickets are $15 each or $10 with the purchase of a ‘Spotlight Subscription.”

"Dill Weed" by Barbara Ciurejand Lindsay Lochman

NOVEMBER 2–DECEMBER 3
“Soho Photo’s November show will feature the winning entries in the Seventh Annual Alternative Processes Competition. The images that were submitted for this competition represent a wide range of alternative methods that can include beeswax paper negative, Cyanotype, Van Dyke Brown, platinum- palladium, gum dichromate, gold toned salt print, tintype, and ziatype. Also on view: a guest exhibition by Stephanie Lyn Slate that features two bodies of work, Souvenirs and The Inevitable.”

NOVEMBER 7
“The Mark of the Chemist” at the Museum of Jewish Heritage, featuring John Turturro and New Yorker critic Joan Acocella, with a soundscape by Marco Cappelli. “Primo Levi’s Holocaust writings (Survival in Auschwitz, The Periodic Table), have always borne the stamp of his training as a chemist. Acclaimed actor John Turturro, who portrayed Levi in the film The Truce, will star in the English premiere of this staged reading inspired by the author’s eloquent scientific works.”

DECEMBER 8
Writer André Aciman—who forever changed the way I think of peaches—is at the Museum of Jewish Heritage: “In his latest book [Alibis: Essays on Elsewhere], novelist and memoirist Aciman (Eight White Nights, Out of Egypt) offers a series of meditations on travel, displacement, and the Alexandria of his youth [...] from beautiful and moving pieces about the memory evoked by the scent of lavender; to musings on cities like Barcelona, Rome, Paris, and New York; to his sheer ability to unearth life secrets from an ordinary street corner.”

DECEMBER 25
At the Museum of Jewish Heritage: “I Lift My Lamp: A Statue-esque Hanukkah.” “Join us for a day of homage to Emma Lazarus and the Lady of the Harbor, featuring Statue-inspired crafts and films including An American Tail, Saboteur, and Ghostbusters II.” Plus: Crafts for kids.

AUGUST 22
From council member Margaret Chin’s office: From 3:30 to 4:30 p.m., “French Open champion Li Na will make an appearance at the USTA’s Mobile SmashZone [...] at Sara D. Roosevelt Park in the Chinatown District of Manhattan. She will participate in tennis activities with children from the local area to encourage health and fitness in the Asian community. In addition, Li Na will have an autograph session.”

AUGUST 27
Dar Williams will play City Winery after a screening of Vanishing of the Bees.

SEPTEMBER 6–11
At St. Paul’s Chapel (Broadway and Fulton): “The public will be invited to tie white ribbons—symbols of remembrance—with the words ‘Remember to Love’ on the fence of St. Paul’s Chapel from  September 6 through September 11. Names and prayers may be written on the ribbons.” (10 a.m.– 6 p.m.)

SEPTEMBER 8–OCTOBER 8
“Spaces & Places,” paintings by Babette Herschberger and Beatricia Sagar, is at Cheryl Hazan Gallery.

SEPTEMBER 8–OCTOBER 29
Opening at Apexart: “Private Stash, curated by jazz pianist Fred Hersch. The show includes examples of his work, his musical and visual inspirations, and a showing of his recent operatic production My Coma Dreams, based on the visions he saw during a two-month coma.”

SEPTEMBER 8–OCTOBER 9
At One Art Space: “Daniel Belardinelli’s new exhibit, Vital Signs [...] draws upon a constellation of addictions, personal loss and his own struggle to communicate verbally, producing wildly dynamic images that teeter between inner angst and an outwardly directed attempt to achieve meaningful contact. [...] The artist was also personally affected by the events of 9/11—a last minute change of plans prevented Belardinelli from joining an uncle on the ill-fated Flight 93. Dysfunction, loss and the sounds, beat and culture of the nightclub scene resonate through Belardinelli’s work.” Pictured above: “Born Into This.”

SEPTEMBER 9–15
Tribeca Film is screening three films at Tribeca Cinemas:
••• Beware the Gonzo (“the story of a 17-year old student who starts a revolution in his high school”)
••• Brother’s Justice (“Actor Dax Shepard makes the decision to abandon comedy in pursuit of his true dream: to become an internationally-renown martial arts star”; Shepard directed, too)
••• Grave Encounters (“Lance Preston and the crew of ‘Grave Encounters,’ a ghost-hunting reality television show, are shooting an episode inside the abandoned Collingwood Psychiatric Hospital, where unexplained phenomena has been reported for years.”)

SEPTEMBER 11
Counter-programming! The Crosby Street Hotel chose the tenth anniversary of 9/11 to screen that recent documentary about New York Times photographer Bill Cunningham.

The May Pen Parentis salon

SEPTEMBER 13
The Pen Parentis Literary Salon features writers Rebecca Wolff (The King, The Beginners), Sarah Gardner Borden (Games to Play After Dark), and Frank Haberle (winner of the Pen Parentis fellowship). The accompanying photo is not of them.

SEPTEMBER 13
INVASION! opens at the Flea (previews start Sept. 6): “While INVASION!—written by Swedish-Tunisian playwright Jonas Hassen Khemiri—isn’t set directly against the backdrop of September 11, it does—with wit, humor and a deft slyness—evoke some of the suspicions, prejudices and matters of cultural identity about Middle Easterners that resulted.”

SEPTEMBER 15–JANUARY 7
Opening at the Museum of Jewish Heritage: “‘Deadly Medicine: Creating the Master Race’ [which] shows how the Nazi regime aimed to change the genetic makeup of the population through measures known as ‘racial hygiene’ or ‘eugenics,’ and the role that scientists in the biomedical fields played in legitimizing these policies. When Nazi racial hygiene was implemented, the categories of persons regarded as biologically threatening to the health of the nation were greatly expanded to include Jews, Gypsies, and other minorities. Ultimately, Nazi racial hygiene policies culminated in the Holocaust.”

SEPTEMBER 16
From reader Kellee: “There’s a CD release party for Nation Beat on September 16 at 9 p.m. at 92YTribeca. I met band leader Scott Kettner several weeks ago and had a blast watching the band perform. Nation Beat’s music is described as a ‘fusion between thunderous Brazilian maracatu drumming and New Orleans second line rhythms, Appalachian-inspired blue grass music, funk, rock and country-blues.’ Scott himself is a pretty interesting guy and percussionist who plays a mean tambourine. (I’m not kidding—it’s actually a pandeiro—cousin to the tambourine). He can make it sound like a full set of drums.”

Tribeca Greenmarket

1. If you only had $50 to spend on a Saturday for meals and activities in Tribeca, how would you do it? Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Fifty bucks for one day? Hmm…. I’d start with iced coffee and a pain au chocolat at La Colombe ($5). I usually run errands on Saturday mornings while walking my dog. One of the great delights of writing this website is noticing all the interesting details that people otherwise zoom by—I get a lot of my “Where in Tribeca…?” and “Photo Safari” material from these walks, especially on less-traveled streets such as Franklin Place, Cortlandt Alley, and Washington. I’m a regular at the Tribeca Greenmarket to pick up fruits and vegetables ($10): For lunch, I’ll make a big chopped salad with those vegetables and eat it with pizza and a Pellegrino Chinotto soda from Grandaisy ($8), or better yet, I’ll stuff the salad into Grandaisy’s pizza bianca, call it a sandwich, and picnic in Duane Park. The afternoon is a gallery crawl: Tribeca has a ton of galleries that I’m guessing most of you have never visited: Pelavin Gallery, Cheryl Hazan, RH Gallery, Skot Foreman Fine Art, KS Art, Soho Photo, Kimmerich, Jack Hanley, Carriage Trade, Hionas Gallery, One Art Space, Apexart, Hal Bromm, Art in General, Arts and Sciences Projects, Dream House. (Clocktower Gallery—a fascinating space—is only open weekdays, alas.) At some point during the crawl, I’ll reward myself with something sweet; I patronize every bakery in Tribeca, so my choice would vary ($3). Between 4 and 6 p.m. I’d stop by Terroir for a free glass of sherry ($2–3 tip, depending on how cheap/guilty the experience of ordering a free drink makes me feel). That leaves $22 for dinner. I’d be tempted to picnic again, but that’s sort of avoiding the question, so instead, I’d wander over to the new Shake Shack, where even after a ‘Shroom burger, non-cheese fries, and a shake ($15) I’ll have enough money left for a round of mini golf on Pier 25 ($5).

The Harrison's fried cod sandwich

2. What’s the best sandwich in the nabe?
I believe that almost everything tastes better between two slices of bread. My very favorite sandwich in Tribeca—and this probably has something to do with its seasonal scarcity—is the BLT at Wichcraft. I rarely eat meat anymore, but I make an exception for that sandwich. (Sandwiches are generally better with meat, unless you’re prepared to do extra work.) By the way, close readers will notice that I’m always yapping about how I don’t eat meat—I do it not out of sanctimoniousness but to remind everyone why I can’t personally praise the steaks and such at the Palm, Wolfgang’s, Dylan Prime, and so forth.

But we were talking about sandwiches. My runners-up: fried egg/bacon/gorgonzola/frisée at Wichcraft; Indian Street Burger at Mehtaphor; Malibu vegetarian at Columbine/Clementine (why won’t Columbine open on weekends?!); Mediterranean tuna at Columbine (better if you take it home and pour good olive oil on the tuna); lobster roll at Ed’s Lobster Bar kiosk on the WFC plaza; the Traditional (lox and cream cheese) at Zucker’s; two fried eggs with American cheese on a toasted, buttered roll with salt and lots of black pepper at Morgan’s Market (when they get it right—about half the time—it hits the spot).

There are several sandwiches that I liked when I had them, but I’d need more research before I could say for sure: sausage hero at Locanda Verde (no longer on the lunch menu); fried cod sandwich at the Harrison (lunch only); the angry lobster sandwich at Ponte’s; croque monsieur at Plein Sud. I’ve long wanted to try the eggplant sandwich at Terroir, but it’s usually too noisy in there for me.

For all that, when it comes to sandwiches, I think Tribeca could do better. And when will someone open a good sandwich shop south of Chambers? Maybe this is my calling! (Those “tartines” at Le Pain Quotidien don’t count.)

3. Is Smithers your partner (business or otherwise)?
Ha! No and hell no. I have no business partner; my life partner is named Adam (he swears that he isn’t Smithers). As for Smithers, I don’t know who (s)he is, but given his/her tone, I’ve always thought Montgomery Burns would’ve been a more apt nom de plume….

4. Three words to describe what you don’t like about the nabe?
Quiet, bourgeois, uptight. Of course, those are also among the reasons I like living here.

Creating this site has left me in a funny relationship with Tribeca. On one hand, I love it—that’s obvious, I hope. On the other, I’ve spent so much time walking around the neighborhood, studying it, exhausting it, that I’m left feeling a little like I’ve dissected a frog or a joke: I can’t really look at it the same way again. In many ways Tribeca is perfect, but perfection can get dull. It’s not the New York that drew me to New York; little in Manhattan is. And yet if I really wanted more grit and energy I could walk down Chambers or Canal more often.

When I go to dinner in the Village or the Lower East Side or gentrified Brooklyn, I’m struck by how many people in their twenties there are. They can’t afford to live in Tribeca, with its mammoth apartments, even if they wanted to. Likewise, neighborhoods like Nolita and the East Village have tiny storefronts where entrepreneurs can try stuff out. Tribeca has huge ones with exorbitant rents—so we just don’t get the same kind of lively city experience that you see in other areas. So many of the businesses that give Tribeca character—Let There Be Neon, David Gage String Instruments, New York Nautical—presumably couldn’t afford to move here now. And that makes me concerned about where the neighborhood is headed.

5. Two celebs we should be proud to claim as neighbors and two celebs we should not proud to claim as neighbors.
I’m a little uncomfortable dissing (at least publicly) people I don’t know. Actually, I don’t love the idea of praising people I don’t know—a celebrity whose work I admire could be a real shit. (In fact, a friend in entertainment journalism tells me that pretty much every celebrity whose work I admire is a real shit.) So how about this: Two celebrities I’d love to chat with on the street are Beyoncé and Meryl Streep. Two I would get less excited about—but I’d still brag about to everyone I know—are James Gandolfini and Bethenny Frankel (I’ve actually never seen her on TV, but people I like say Bethenny is respectable).

Brushstroke's Shiso Gin cocktail

6. Best cocktail?
The next one. I’ve always found novelty overrated in a cocktail, so I tend to order the same drinks—gin and tonic, Negroni, Manhattan, Americano. Two I’ve been wanting to try again, however, are the Shiso Gin at Brushstroke and the Kaffir Jimlet at Macao Trading Co. Also, the bartender at Compose made me a lovely less-alcoholic take on a Manhattan that I wish other restaurants had the recipe for.

7. Most overpriced store, restaurant, bar, drink, anything….
I was genuinely annoyed to learn that the special pasta I ordered for lunch at Acappella was $38; I believe the waiter had a moral obligation to mention the price. I try not to exact my revenge via this blog—however tempting it may be—but that was beyond the pale.

8. Two businesses you would like to see here.
Taïm (a West Village Middle Eastern restaurant), Murray’s Cheese Shop, No. 7 Sub, and Franny’s (locavore Brooklyn pizzeria par excellence). I would’ve added Freeman’s barber shop, but I got a terrible haircut there last month. (I try not to exact my revenge via this blog, but I don’t always succeed.) Beyond that, I’m sure there are many I should want in Tribeca, but I don’t get out of the neighborhood often enough anymore to know about them. OK, Chelsea Piers, because I prefer to swim for exercise, and the pools around here tend to be too warm (children like it like that).

9. Tribeca needs more [fill in the blank].
Top-notch pizza, high-end prepared food, neighborhood restaurants, menswear, edge. Probably homosexuals, too.

10. Tribeca needs less [fill in the blank].
You want me to say nail salons, don’t you? But the market decides what the market decides. So let’s go with entitlement, potholes, rallies at City Hall Park, and Escalades with tinted windows.

I hope this was interesting—I’ll be adding some of these questions to the TCQ&A. Please feel free to chime in on any of these topics (if I’m missing a good sandwich, I need to know).

Tuesday
This month’s Tribeca Meet & Greet, organized by David Cleaver and the BMCC Tribeca Performing Arts Center, is at John Allan’s salon (which is also currently home to a By Robert James satellite menswear shop). It’s a chance for local business owners to mix and mingle, along with anyone else who wants to join in. Refreshments courtesy Frankly Wines and MaxDelivery. ••• Zaritsas, a documentary about Russian women in New York, screens at Tribeca Grand.

Wednesday
Martin Sexton begins a long run at City Winery.

Thursday
The P.S. 234 P.T.A. meets about overcrowding. ••• 92YTribeca screens a lot of TV pilots that weren’t picked up in a series called “The Other Network”; also, the musical-comedy stylings of Mel & El. ••• Duane Park restaurant’s magic show, Cabaret des Illusion.

Friday
Freeway (1996) makes a rare public appearance, at 92YTribeca: “After being treated like “a human urinal” by one man too many, the Riding-Hood-esque Vanessa (Witherspoon) sets off into the ghastly psychosexual wilderness of pre-millennial America, inadvertently catching the wolfy eye of a serial killer (Kiefer Sutherland) and becoming a victim of the criminal justice system. Not even Pleasantville will erase the memory of Reese fleeing a truckstop in a bloody prison uniform with her jailhouse girlfriend in tow!” It’s followed by To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1996). ••• At BMCC Tribeca Performing Arts Center: the “Lost Jazz Shrines” series pays homage to W. 52nd Street.

Saturday
“Network Awesome” at 92YTribeca includes a showing of “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.”

Sunday
New Amsterdam Market kicks off its 2011 regular season. ••• Fulton Stall Market is also in the house. ••• At 92YTribeca: “Gustafer Yellowgold is the creation of illustrator/singer/songwriter Morgan Taylor. Gustafer is a friendly creature who came to Earth from the Sun and has an interesting magnetism for making friends with some of Earth’s odder creatures. His best friend is Forrest Applecrumbie the flightless Pterodactyl. Minimally animated illustrations are accompanied by Taylor’s catchy original story-songs for a truly different multimedia experience that will entrance children and adults alike.”

As for ongoing events, you might consider…
Opening June 1: “The Peripheterists,” a show at Apexart curated by Jocko Weyland. It’s basically outsider art, but broadly defined: “A few encounters amongst many will have Mark Hubbard’s fantastical diagrams for actual skateparks, Gloria T. Park’s expressionist wig designs, and Jim Nieuhues’ paintings that are the basis for ski area maps [one is pictured below] consorting with Sereno Wilson’s glittery Nubian goddesses, Nicole Andrews’ paper cutouts of ennui-suffused suburbanites, and Stu Mead’s poignant, troubling, and very funny depiction of sexually active adolescents. This is not a polemic but an excursion into parallel realm of wonderful art that combines the fiercely individualistic and unorthodox with the accessible, and brings up old-fashioned but eternal questions about what art is and why people bother.”

Here are just a few of the highlights on tap this week. More info on these—and the full slate—is in the Tribeca calendar of events.

Monday
The JCP POSH Pop-Up shop opens; through Friday. ••• Jon-Jon Goulian (left), who has reaped a lot of press for his memoir, The Man in the Gray Flannel Skirt, works his 15 minutes hard at Barnes & Noble Tribeca.

Tuesday
CB1′s monthly meeting: Between the stable and the firehouse, it promises to be a doozy. Bring snacks. ••• Bari Studio’s “Spring Into Summer!” event.

Wednesday
Italian singing group Il Volo—”the Jonas Brothers meet the Three Tenors!”, or so I read online—is at Barnes & Noble Tribeca. Video at top. ••• Apexart’s Almost Famous Reading Series.

Thursday
New Warren Street gallery One Art Space has a party for its opening exhibit, of work by Felipe Herrera. ••• Pelavin Gallery’s summer show, “A Field Guide to Getting Lost,” opens. I’m going to need to swing by to see that Karl Klingbiel painting (above right) in person. ••• 99 River Street (1953) screens at 92YTribeca: “On the lam, accused of murdering his floozy wife, John Payne’s pug prizefighter-cum-cabbie hooks up with Evelyn Keyes’s Broadway aspirant to slug his way after the real culprits.” ••• Preservation Hall Jazz Band plays City Winery. ••• Cabaret des Illusion is at Duane Park restaurant.

Friday
At BMCC Tribeca Performing Arts Center: The Lost Jazz Shrines series pays tribute to the clubs that used to be on 52nd Street, “including the Onyx, the Famous Door, the Three Deuces, Jimmy Ryan’s, the Spotlite, and Kelly’s Stable.”

Saturday
David Johansen, the man to blame for “Hot Hot Hot,” plays City Winery. ••• Debo Band plays 92YTribeca: “Party like it’s the 1970s (in East Africa) to old school Ethio-funk with a modern twist.”

Sunday
Fulton Stall Market (left) kicks off its 2011 season.

Monday
It’s Memorial Day, so there’s not much going on.

As for ongoing events, you might consider…
“Last Folio: A Photographic Journey with Yuri Dojc,” about once-vibrant Jewish communities throughout Slovakia, is at the Museum of Jewish Heritage through late summer: “Serendipity led Yuri and the documentary film team to an abandoned jewish school in eastern Slovakia, where time had stood still since the day in 1943 when all those attending it were taken away to the camps… the school books all still there, essay notebooks with corrections, school reports, even the sugar still in the cupboard… These decaying books lying on dusty shelves; the last witnesses of a once thriving culture, are treated by Yuri like the survivors that they each are—every one captured as a portrait, preserved in their final beauty, pictures speaking a thousand words. Among these many hundreds of books and fragments photographed by Yuri, one stands out especially—one which miraculously found its way from a dusty pile to its rightful heir—a book once owned by Yuri’s grandfather Jakub.”