So A Tribeca Couple Walks into a Bar…

The lady walks up to the bartender and says “Sir, can you tell me what you do for work?” The bartender looks confused and says, “What do you mean?…I’m a bartender.”

Out of nowhere the lady’s boyfriend jumps in and yells “Bartender?!! I hardly know her!”

The couple high fives and orders another round of Casamigos.

We’re sure you know the illustrious Tribeca couple that inspired this tale. In all likelihood, you’re intimately familiar with their silly hijinks, throwbacks-only duets, and reliable Casamigos consumption. What you may not know, however, is Austin Glass and Lily Cohen are getting married! Later this month, the Tribeca duo will define their relationship and pledge their hearts to one another forever.

As their friends, we felt compelled to toast our favorite couple by memorializing Austin and Lily’s love story in Tribeca’s most distinguished news publication, the Tribeca Citizen.

Their journey began at Northwestern University, where the two wandered the historic purple streets of Evanston, Illinois, looking for love. Austin dreamed of a woman who understood the quotidian importance of rosé, recognized that ice cream is both a dessert and appetizer, and wanted a relationship with a steep growth trajectory (s/o Private Equity). Meanwhile, Lily longed for a man who could ski with an uncanny elegance, grew dreamy semi-annual mustaches, and walked at a deliciously fast pace. Then one night in the Mach II Lounge, as they sang “Wonderwall” in the back of a bar, the soon-to-be lovers’ eyes locked, and their souls bonded.

After graduating, Lily returned home to New York and Austin did the unthinkable–he moved to San Francisco. Don’t cry, it only smells. The couple conquered long distance with ease. But the siren song of Austin’s West Coast friends was no match for the pull of Lily’s love and the promise of a life together in Tribeca.

Since the move, Austin and Lily have become true Tribeca Citizens, as the neighborhood nurtured their young love. Frequent evenings gazing into each other’s eye over Sheep’s Milk Ricotta at Locanda Verde, Sunday nights feeding each other sushi with chopsticks at Takahachi, and a standing relationship with Greenwich Street Cleaners to repair clothes ripped on wedding dancefloors have all helped lay the foundation for a sturdy long-lasting relationship. So much so that Austin and Lily decided to start a family. Scarlet Begonias, the Cavalier King Charles, is the cutest member of the Glass family and is also a product of her neighborhood. She loves Van Leeuwens and is a familiar face at both the Little Dog and Big Dog Parks on the West Side Highway.

While already remarkable, we know that Austin and Lily’s Tribeca story has only just begun. So to all the readers here, if you see a beautiful couple walking their Cavalier around Tribeca, please stop them, and ask for a “Wonderwall” duet.

Congrats to Austin and Lily! We love you.


Sponsored by Trevor, Noah, Shelby, Alex, Nicholas & Taylor



  1. A wonderful story of karaoke, ice cream, and love! Congrats to the happy couple. Tribeca is a better place with you two in it :)

  2. Wow didn’t realize that Greenwich Street Cleaners was great for post-wedding rips. Will check out!!

  3. The sweetest tribute!!! Wishing Austin and Lily a beautiful future! They certainly have some hysterical, creative friends!

  4. What a great couple and a great team they will be! And that Scarlet is perfection so they’re off to a great start. Congratulations.