Am I out of a job?

My husband thought it would be entertaining to see if ChatGPT (well, really the Google version — Gemini) could write a TC post. I am much more of a head-in-the-sand kind of person when it comes to technology and how it might threaten my ability to make a living, but he forced my hand. He “wrote” a story about the football player Colin Kaepernick, who is trying to unload his condo here, and challenged me to do the same. I wouldn’t ordinarily post much about the sale — maybe a mention and a link — but in the interest of the experiment, here goes the match-up: me v. AI. NB: I didn’t read his ’til I wrote mine.

This from me:
Former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who became something of a reluctant activist in 2016 when he took a knee during the national anthem o a preseason game to protest racial inequality and police brutality, is selling his apartment at One York that he bought that same year. The asking price is $3.4 million, according to Realtor.com. The two-bedroom, three-bath is 1800 square feet, so Realtor.com called it a “jewel box.”

Kaepernick was released by the 49ers in 2016 and that more rather than less ended his football career, though he has kept at it these past eight years.

One York, in the wedge made up by Canal, Laight, Sixth and St. John’s Lane, opened in 2009. Kaepernick was not the first pro-athlete to live there; New York Ranger Derick Brassard bought a condo there in 2015 but sold it one year later when he was traded to the Ottawa Senators, according to the Observer.

The prompt given to Gemini was, “In the style of the Tribeca Citizen, write a blog post about Colin Kaepernick listing his Tribeca condo for sale.” It took two seconds to produce this MadLibs entry, and its mocking tone has freaked me out a bit:

Colin Kaepernick, the activist and former San Francisco 49ers quarterback, is parting ways with his Tribeca digs. The two-bedroom, three-bathroom condo hit the market this week for a cool $3.45 million.

Kaepernick purchased the apartment in 2017, the same year his national anthem protests ignited a firestorm of controversy. The impeccably-maintained residence, located in a prime Tribeca building designed by renowned architect Enrique Norten, offered a sanctuary from the media frenzy.

Clocking in at nearly 1,800 square feet, the condo boasts all the bells and whistles a discerning New Yorker could ask for. Think remodeled bathrooms, custom built-ins, and a sound system that lets you crank up the activism anthems. Residents of the building enjoy the trifecta of Tribeca living: a full-time doorman, private parking, and a swanky rooftop pool for those post-protest cool-downs.

While the reasons for Kaepernick’s Tribeca departure remain undisclosed, whispers abound. Is it a sign of a permanent move away from the city? Does he have his sights set on a new training facility, a la Rocky Balboa prepping for a comeback? Only time will tell.

One thing’s for sure: whoever nabs this condo will be snapping up a piece of Tribeca history, not to mention a residence with impeccable taste. Here’s hoping the new owner appreciates a well-placed protest sign on the window ledge.

 

7 Comments

  1. The comparison is funny in a creepy way, but to my ear the Gemini one sounds more like Erik in a snarky mood than you.

  2. I believe it’s ChatGPT not ChatGBT…

    (Not delivered in a snarky tone, maybe just a smirk. Does AI smirk?)

  3. The “trifecta of Tribeca” phrase was sort of clever, you gotta admit. Next time don’t tell us in advance. Make us guess.

  4. The AI version sounds like an advertisement for One York mixed with a Gawker article, which it probably is. Don’t think you are in any danger . . .

  5. “a sound system that lets you crank up the activism anthems. . .and a swanky rooftop pool for those post-protest cool-downs”

    I mimed putting my finger in my mouth after I read this – gag me Gemini : )

  6. i will take YOU( human, as flawed as we are) over AI any time

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