You may recall how the other day I posted the video for Sunnery James and Ryan Marciano’s new dance track, “Tribeca.” (David G. Imber, your comments on the post were awesome [points index fingers].) Even though the song has no evident connection to our neighborhood—despite the images of the Woolworth Building and Barclay Tower on the sleeve—it made me wonder if there were other songs called “Tribeca.”

First, here’s a remix-with-vocals of the James/Marciano track, SJ & RM vs. Celeda – Underground Tribeca – Yanik Coen Bootleg. It’s long and the lyrics, which have nothing to do with Tribeca, go from dim to dimmer. Also, the little icon on the page appears to be of the townhouse where Dominque Strauss-Kahn is staying…?

Searching “Tribeca” on iTunes brought up 19 songs, although many didn’t belong (“California Dreamin'” by the Mamas and Papas, a lounge-lizard cover of “With or Without You,” Bow Wow Wow’s “Aphrodisiac”). And most were there because they featured the rapper named Tribeca or the Swedish electro-pop group named Tribeca (you might enjoy the band’s “Her Breasts Were Still Small,” about a young man’s early sexual experience).

I went through and bought all the songs that were called “Tribeca,” because I was sure I could embed them here—only to find out that I can’t. And most of them are crap! So consider yourself spared, I guess. If you want to listen, the links below go to iTunes.

They tend to fall into three main categories, the first of which is the dreaded smooth jazz, which includes the songs by Kenny G (if I get hit by a bus today, I’ll need someone to come over and delete it from my computer), David Mann (not better than Kenny G but less recognizable, so no need to delete it, but you can if you want), Greg Adams (ditto), Bill Direen & Friends (a touch rock-y which may be why iTunes has it labeled as alternative), Music-Themes (when you scroll down on iTunes you tend to get filler like this), Michael Udow and the University of Michigan Percussion Ensemble‘s “Tribeca Sunflower” (I forgot to buy it but I’m not about to now), Rondo Piano & SWR Big Band‘s cringe-y “Tribeca Rites” (for the montage of the young-ish couple going to open houses and buying their first stroller?). There are two traditional jazz songs, Marcelo Cardozo Trio‘s respectable “Tribeca Paradiso” and Vince Giordano & The Nighthawks‘ charming “Tribeca Bounce” (from the Matt Damon movie The Good Shepherd). “Tribeca Bounce” is one of three songs I’ll be keeping from my buying spree.

The second main category is dance/electronica: This includes the tracks by Michael Nurian & Nipp (I didn’t buy it twice because I liked it), Didimek (you’d have to be high to get pleasure from it, which isn’t necessarily an insult—high people need special music), B12 (ever been trapped inside a spa’s washing machine?), and Black Jack (also drug music, but more the kind you listen to when you’re coming down). Phil Thornton‘s “Sunrise Over Tribeca” struck me as electronica, but iTunes calls it world music, so maybe those aren’t synths; either way it’s not my cup of chai. There was also a very mellow song called “Tribeca” on Indigo Dreams: Teen Relaxation Music, along with “Breezy Point,” “Soho,” and “Park Slope.” We’ll let Brownstoner tackle that one.

None of the above have lyrics. For that, we turn to Kyle Addison, about whom I could find nothing online. He never sings the word “Tribeca” in his country/folk/possibly Christian ballad, but he does mention “wandering these west side streets” and “throwing my hat into the Hudson,” where he can admire the New Jersey “line.” The sound reminded me of the Eagles, if they cared about your self-esteem issues (pursue what you love, do the things you dreamed of as a child, etc.).

The Gronks are an Australian rock band whose lyrics are hard to discern. I did hear “Trick or treat, down on the west side, Tribeca Avenue, disaster story.” (They pronounce it Tribeeka, but on their Myspace page the song title is “Tribecca Avenue,” so maybe it’s an Australian thing?). The song, said to be inspired by Pink Floyd and Midnight Oil, also mentions transsexual fashion and Joey Ramone; maybe they have Tribeca confused with the East Village.

Deekie‘s “Tribeca” doesn’t have a lot of lyrics—besides a bit of beh-beh-beh—but there is this: “Of course you were brave in Tribeca. You never were alone downtown.” According to its label, Kennington Records, “Deekie is a band and also the obsession of two introverted London dwellers (Mr L and Neets) that have spent the last three years slowly getting better at what they do and making lots of discoveries and mistakes along the way. When they met neither of them had played guitar before, one of them hadn’t even written a song, but they learnt quickly.” And they’re lovely spellers. Seriously, that’s the faintest praise I’ve heard in a while. Just the same, the song is catchy, and it’s the second song I’ll keep.

The last rock song is the truly dreadful one by Camping—over nine minutes of droning. I was jealous when my dog left the room.

The lone hip-hop song, “Minivan (Tribeca Main Mix),” is by Grand Agent, Camp Lo, and Liv L’ Raynge. On one hand, the name Tribeca is only in the parenthetical, so one could argue that it doesn’t belong here—but given the state of Triburbia, a song about rocking the minivan just felt right. So right, in fact, that I’m keeping it, too.